Torn (GW sonfic)

by neko

*begins to cry* Okay, I sank to a new low, for this one. Not only is it a pointless songfic exactly like the ten million others on the net, but it's a vidfic. I'm so sorry. I'll never do it again, I promise. This was only the result of my bitterness at having to drive to some wedding in the States where they wouldn't feed me. (Summary: CD player + car sickness + hunger + young fic writer = really bad fiction. Let that be a warning to you all.) This is not a fic for reading. This is a fic for laying down and avoiding.

And Gundam Wing and its characters belong to someone not me. Torn is sung by Natalie Imbruglia and written by someone else. I can only lay claim to the real crap.

<As the opening music plays, the scene opens in front of the Maxwell Church, nuns watching over the playing children.>

I thought I saw a man brought to life

<Father Maxwell steps out of the church, smiling.>

He was warm, he came around like he was dignified

<Images of the priest teaching and caring for the orphans, one with shining violet eyes, in particular.>

He showed me what it was to cry

<Shot of his pale, still face, the ruins of the church around him.>

Well you couldnít be that man I adore

<Slow pan of Heero, gun aimed towards an unknown target, his expression obscured by the bright light behind him.>

You donít seem to know or seem to care what your heart is for

<Images overlaying the last: Heero coldly piloting his Gundam, killing OZ soldiers, isolating himself . . . >

Well I donít know him anymore

<The first image becomes solid again and fires.>

Thereís nothing where he used to lie

<Orders come in the middle of the night.>

My conversation has run dry

<The pilots sit around a table, listening to Heero as he outlines the mission, face grim. Wufei looks solemn, a frightened Quatre is held by an ever-quiet Trowa . . . Even Duo is devoid of his usual chatter.>

Thatís whatís going on! Nothingís fine, Iím torn

<Shinigami takes off after the others, joining them in a desperate battle.>

Iím all out of faith

<A bruised and bloody Duo is dragged along by OZ soldiers, his eyes empty.>

This is how I feel

<He reflects that at least the others are safe, and that he will have to be content with that.>

Iím cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor

<Duo lies in his cell, manacled to the wall, his pale, naked body covered with brises, cuts, contusions and other obvious signs of the abuse he has suffered at the hands of his captors.>

Illusion never changed into something real

<His dreams are filled with images of chilling cobalt eyes that come to him in the night . . . yet . . . >

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

< . . . he knows that he is alone, in every sense of the word.>

Youíre a little late; Iím already torn

<He curls up in a fetal position to sleep, knowing that the dreams are far better than the reality.>

So I guess the fortune tellerís right

<returning to the hangar, the others cannot find Shinigami. Quatre looks worried, hands held over his heart.>

Shouldíve seen just what was there, and not some holy light

<Heero tosses and turns, unable to sleep. He sees a crucifix resting by Duo's bed and picks it up, hoping that the other boy is alright.>

But you've crawled beneath my veins and now

<He holds the piece of gold close, wishing it were that loud-mouthed baka . . . and cursing himself for his lack of control.>

I donít care; I have no luck

<He knows that he shouldn't care, that it would only be a weakness, and that Duo would only be hurt.>

I donít miss it all that much

<Being the Perfect Soldier, he puts up a cold mask, hiding from everything he does not want to see.>

Thereís just so many things that I canít touch, Iím torn

<Heero runs down a hallway, gun cocked and ready, determination in his eyes.>

Iím all out of faith

<He knows his mission, knows that he must complete it at all costs, nows that his own feelings are inconsequential.>

This is how I feel

<A Perfect Soldier feels nothing . . . A Perfect Soldier feels nothing . . . He repeats this litany, trying to calm himself. He opens the cell door.>

Iím cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor

<Duo's battered face looks down the barrel of his gun, ready to die yet still hoping for salvation.>

Illusion never changed into something real

<"Are you going to kill me?">

<The silent tableau shatters.>

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

<"Do you want me to?">

Youíre a little late; Iím already torn

<Duo smiles ruefully and Heero lowers the gun, watching his friend.>

Torn . . .

<Heero carries him out of the base, into Wing and to their current hideout, where Duo collapses. Heero sets him on the bed.>

Thereís nothing where he used to lie

<Heero stands, worried, looking at the sleeping pilot of Shinigami . . . >

My inspiration has run dry

< . . . and wonders what will happen when he wakes up.>

Thatís whatís going on! Nothingís right, Iím torn

<(Later) Duo and Heero argue. Duo is in tears head bowed, speaking softly in respoonse to Heero's harsh words.>

Iím all out of faith

<Duo clutches his crucifix, lost in himself as he lets the insults wash over him, thinking of the one person who never yelled at him like this . . . >

This is how I feel

< . . . and then pulls back to the present when Heero sits down beside him, concerned at his lack of response. Duo smiles wanly at him.>

Iím cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor

<Looking into liquid pools of violet, Heero sees a companion to his own pain-filled past and present confusing emotions. He makes a decision.>

<Always follow your feelings.>

Illusion never changed into something real

<Heero pulls the sobbing boy into his arms in a fierce hug, shushing him softly and stroking his hair.>

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

<Duo starts slightly at the powerful arms around him, then melts into the embrace, wondering distantly if he is dreaming.>

Iím all out of faith

<What the hell, he thinks, figuring he has nothing left to lose but his life.>

This is how I feel

<He winds his arms arond Heero's neck, reaching up to kiss him softly . . . >

Iím cold and Iím ashamed, bound and broken on the floor

<Heero's eyes widen and he pulls back, staring at Duo's downcast face . . . >

Youíre a little late, Iím already torn.

< . . . before leaning down to kiss him back.>

<The scene freezes with the last vocals, then fades to watercolours.>


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